Co-reading

It was on a night as cold as this one when I had found out that I was one of those people who could study comfortably with noise in the background.

Everyone else in the house was sleeping soundly that night and I had a lot of studying left to do before I could go to bed. I felt angry and sad that I had to study so much and had to do it alone. I had one of those early mobile phones in which you could listen to the live transmissions broadcasted from the local radio stations but I was not a big fan of those. However, I ended up playing one of those stations in my ears while I studied that night and felt oddly at peace knowing that someone else had to be awake as well. I had studied that entire year with those radio stations serving as white noise. I got a better phone later and could play other things besides the local radio stations. I would then have my own playlist on while studying. I do that to this day. I cannot study at night without another noise inside my head.

I have listened to a few audiobooks but had to read the physical books later. Not a fan of those either. Yesterday, I stumbled across the audio-narration (on Youtube) of the book I was reading and I decided to do a little experiment – I tried to read along with it! It did not go well. I had to increase the playback speed but even then I kept reading at my own pace and completely ignored the audio-narration. It turns out that I can study with the background noise but I cannot co-read.

Here’s a short poem inspired by the above-mentioned events:

We are not keeping pace with each other,

one of us is always a few words behind,

pausing after every other line,

and exclaiming loudly at all the wrong points,

but we are still trying our best

to asynchronously co-read the night away!

©Aaysid

Working Week

Monday

I drown

in my morning tea

only to reappear

in my bedtime coffee,

forgetting all about

the sandwich from supper.

Tuesday

I leave the stove on

in my daydreams

and snap out of them

feeling like a puddle.

Wednesday

I was supposed to go insane

by the middle of this week

but here I am,

living for the weekend

and still making sense.

Thursday

My mindlessness

is the next best thing

to my mindfulness

and this scares me.

Friday

One cannot get happy once

and bask in that joy forever

but this moment right here

is enough for a lifetime,

or at least for the next two days.

©Aaysid

Photo by Gabby K from Pexels

Red, Yellow and Green

You can write about something and still not write about it at all. The proof’s right here:

I

Set against

the glaring white of her head,

like a bloodstain, repulsively red,

I remain undead.

III

The universe is aglow,

ever so mellow,

for in a cafe

down the street,

a fine old fellow

has his head buried

in a book,

outworn and yellow.

III

Always too broken,

never not green.

Out of the picture,

wiped off the screen.

Only girl in the kingdom,

still not the queen…

Wow, how dull her life had been

before caffeine!

©Aaysid

Photo by Scott Webb from Pexels

Going a Little Crazy

Does your mind have wallpaper? Background music? Some kind of persistent floral aroma? I think mine at least has one of these features on most days. Lately, however, the ongoing pandemic has found a way to taint my mind’s otherwise boring yet calm atmosphere, and I have been feeling over the edge.

I am grateful to be healthy and to be able to earn a living knowing how many around me haven’t been so fortunate, but I still cannot help but feel a little down. This pandemic seems like an annoying, constant buzzing inside my head which even the white noise (that I cannot study without these days) cannot fully drown. I, like many others, have lost people I knew (although distantly), have seen friends and family members braving this horrible disease, and have somehow learnt to function despite being constantly scared for my family.

Apart from that, the measures one has to take to ensure that you and your loved ones stay safe not only take up your time but also test your patience. Washing and sanitising every little thing multiple times a day and arguing with people who belittle you for being too “careful” are a few things I had never thought I’d be doing at this point in my life. I think the fatigue, both mental and physical, that this year has caused is finally setting in. I hope and pray that things will get better soon. For everyone.

Before it came to this,

I used to cough

my way out of grim

and sticky situations

but now there’s no grace

left in the very act-

it feels like vandalism.

©Aaysid

In a General Slump

This year hasn’t been great for reading for me. No surprises here, since this year hasn’t been great for pretty much anything. Despite having enough time on my hands in Summer while I was working from home, I couldn’t bring myself to finish whatever I was reading. I was not in a reading slump exactly – it was more of a general slump (apathy in other words)!

Last month was a little better though for I was able to finish two marvelous books. Now that the bookworm in me has slowly crept out of its den, I hope it will be making the ambitious November proud. Out of the eight unfinished books that I have on my nightstand (oh, my), fingers crossed, I have planned to read the following three books (small steps, if you will) to the end:

1. Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
2. Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World by Haruki Murakami
3. The Plague by Albert Camus.

Happy reading to everyone out there! 🙂

I am drowning in a sea

Of unfinished books, calm and unafraid,

Don’t throw me a raft, I do not want to be saved!

©Aaysid