Going a Little Crazy

Does your mind have wallpaper? Background music? Some kind of persistent floral aroma? I think mine at least has one of these features on most days. Lately, however, the ongoing pandemic has found a way to taint my mind’s otherwise boring yet calm atmosphere, and I have been feeling over the edge.

I am grateful to be healthy and to be able to earn a living knowing how many around me haven’t been so fortunate, but I still cannot help but feel a little down. This pandemic seems like an annoying, constant buzzing inside my head which even the white noise (that I cannot study without these days) cannot fully drown. I, like many others, have lost people I knew (although distantly), have seen friends and family members braving this horrible disease, and have somehow learnt to function despite being constantly scared for my family.

Apart from that, the measures one has to take to ensure that you and your loved ones stay safe not only take up your time but also test your patience. Washing and sanitising every little thing multiple times a day and arguing with people who belittle you for being too “careful” are a few things I had never thought I’d be doing at this point in my life. I think the fatigue, both mental and physical, that this year has caused is finally setting in. I hope and pray that things will get better soon. For everyone.

Before it came to this,

I used to cough

my way out of grim

and sticky situations

but now there’s no grace

left in the very act-

it feels like vandalism.

©Aaysid